Sustine et abstine
The phone call that saved my life...
When I failed my medical exams for the first time, unlike most of my classmates who got depressed and lost all motivation,
I was relatively okay.
Why?
Well…
I never quite figured it out at the time,
But after taking my time to sit and think on it…
I finally traced it down to one event…
One call.
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It was the afternoon after I had seen my exam results.
I was still in shock from failing and I hadn't quite figured out what I was going to do with my life.
For context, the exam I failed was an important one. An “if you fail it, you will be kicked out of the department” kind of important.
It's like writing JAMB to be able to enter University, only that this one is an exam you must write to be able to start Medical school properly.
So, I was trying to figure out how to proceed with my life …
Whether I was to write it again…
Or change departments entirely when the phone rang.
I looked at the phone, already about to decline the call — I was in no mood to talk to anyone — when I noticed the Caller ID.
It was my friend, Jiggy, calling.
I picked up the call.
“Jiggy, what's up? How was the exam?”
“Bro, it didn't go well. How was yours?”
“Man, it was terrible. Failed 2 out of 3.”
“Same here, guy. Same here.”
There was a bit of silence and I was about to lie to him that I was busy with stuff so I could cut the call, when he said something that shocked me…
“No problem sha. We go run am again nau. We'll write it again. That one no be issue.”
What?
What do you mean do it again?
Why should I set myself up to fail twice?
I already failed before, what could I possibly do to change that result?
Are you insane?
This was what crossed my mind hearing him say that…
But for some reason, I found myself replying:
“Normal nau. We go run am again, that one no be issue. Na to just double our efforts like this.”
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I didn’t know it at the time, but by saying that last sentence, I was practising a Stoic mindset.
Sustine et abstine - sustain and abstain; bear and forbear.
It’s a Latin saying that, when translated means to bear/endure a circumstance.
The whole saying stems from the belief that Life is very unfair most times, and we’ll always have bad experiences…
But instead of complaining about it as we’d usually do…
Someone who practices sustine et abstine endures the bad experiences of Life and goes through it with his head lifted high.
He accepts that bad things always happen and that it happening to him isn’t personal, it’s just Life being Life.
Instead, he takes it as a lesson to teach him how to be resilient and strong mentally.
And that sort of mentality was what kept me sane during those tough times…
Instead of feeling sorry for myself and playing the blame game, I accepted my reality — that I failed and have to write this again…
I kept my head up…
Did what I had to do…
And won.
- Kwill.